12. October

Today was pretty similar to yesterday, but slightly less dramatic.

It started out really well again- I got a lot done and even hung out with my mom. Eating went well, I didn't measure anything and calorie-counting didn't go past loose estimates that I still do automatically just because I know the calories in so many foods. But I wasn't worrying about it.

Then I found out that my aunt and uncle were coming over tonight for the game and we were ordering pizza. I decided I was going to eat a few slices and drink some wine and enjoy the evening. And I did, at first. At one point I just started to keep eating and ended up not really binging, sort of "grazing binging" as I think of it. Even though I was full I kept on reaching for more as the night went on and even went into the kitchen to eat a slice or two alone because I didn't want to be eating in front of people the whole time. But I've stopped now and we're watching the game *deep breath* I'm going to be fine.

I am looking forward to tomorrow- my mom and I are going to the gym nice and early which means I'll be in a healthy mood all day. And I'm going to try to not sleep afterwards (even though I'll be tired from staying up later tonight) and then get to bed early and get my sleep back on track for school Monday. And Sunday is Stadtfest, so we'll be walking around the city and hopefully enjoying some french fries or crepes or some other festival food.

Basically it's nice to have some healthy days where you just feel really good but it's nice to have days where you can eat sugary junk food and it all balances out somehow. That's where I want to get to someday- I'm on my way there but the sugary junk food days don't end well. But someday.