22. October

Today was a really fantastic day in a really weird way that I'm still trying to figure out.

Wow, everything is weird. Alright. First off, food. I was still insanely full and bloated all morning and into the afternoon, but I could still tell when I was feeling hungry underneath. I'm not sure if that makes sense or if anyone knows what I'm talking about, but I was actually able to separate the two feelings. And I ate pretty normally, which was nice. Even nicer was the fact that I started eating the rice dish I'd brought for lunch and just ate until I was full then saved the rest for after school. Normally if I start eating something, I have to finish. So that was nice. And I don't know, everything was just good today. I did get a bottle of diet coke because I thought I'd need something to get me through tonight. But I also saw the leftover banana bread (calories = ?!?) and had some for dinner even though I was planning on something completely different and vegetable-based.

Somehow everything just seemed great, even if it was completely normal or average. I talked to A a little bit and the time we did get to spend together was... good. And I was actually being quite social today, now that I think of it. And in sport we got grades for slalom dribbling and even though I messed up twice and didn't really go as fast as I could have I got full points. And everyone was sort of laughing at J and it was really fantastic to see that they all do dislike her as well- I didn't even have to feel bad because it wasn't like. Laughing in her face. It was brushed off as a class joke kind of thing. But you could tell what everyone was thinking.

I even felt cute today, at least my face and hair. I felt fat and bloated and gross, but I thought my hair looked good and my face didn't feel as round and flabby as it usually does on days like this so I guess that's progress too.

I just forgot about the bus ride with A too. Oh. Another nice thing.

I just had a little fight with the mother, but I'm not letting it bother me.

I feel like I could go on. Basically. Today was wonderful. I'm not sure if it was me learning to deal with life and shit, or if on the all-or-nothing scale that is my life today was just an all good day and so nothing could really change that.
I'm going to enjoy it for what it is though.