20. October

For the record: I did eat the chocolate. And some bread. And it was all yummy.

I spent almost all day in my bed, except when I went out to return bottles. I think I need to go for a longer walk tomorrow. Two days in bed isn't great.

I'm still caught between restrict- no start purging again when you binge- no just eat super healthy no more chocolate or white bread- no eat what you want. This always happen when I start gaining weight. But I think hope that maybe if I fight through it in the end I won't be binging as much. Somehow. And then I can go back to maintaining that weight that I actually felt alright at.